I’ll be happy when I can achieve _______.  I can be happy when I accomplish ________.  I’ll be happy when I _______. 

Always looking for ‘happy’.  Always thinking happiness will come when _________. 

Let’s look for happiness each day, in each moment.  Let’s live it.  Happiness is like success, we don’t arrive at a final stop finding them, they’re a journey, a process. 

When I look for happiness in the moments in my day, I find strength, from that I get joy.  I just have to keep reminding myself of that.


How Do Things Look From Where You’re At?

Jesus never discriminated, what gives us the right to?

Do you ever find yourself looking down on someone else because of a decision they made, or a lifestyle they’ve chosen?  Feeling so glad that you’re not like that?  How do you think that looks or feels to others?  Do you think others notice?  Do you think it shows in the way you respond in conversation or body language?  Do you think you could recognize it in yourself?

Many of us don’t like to think we do wrong or act unjustly towards others.  We don’t like to look at areas that can use change.  We don’t like topics that make us feel defensive.

What makes you feel defensive?  For what reason do you respond that way?

How big is Love?  What does Love cover for a person?  Love is so big, we can’t fathom it with our minds.  We can’t grasp any number of thoughts that would encompass the completeness of Love.  So why do we try to box it in?  Why do we try to own it, as if it’s our decision who receives it and who doesn’t?  Sometimes it feels like Christians think they have the monopoly on Love.  If that’s the thought, I don’t think they really know what a Christian is.  They’ve been trained/conditioned by a religious system.  That to be a Jesus follower, you must act/dress a certain way and even use specific ‘christian’ words in conversation, like a social club.  We have been conditioned over the years to think that church is somehow the beginning and end of being a ‘good’ christian.  We have been trained to view church as a safe haven where we must keep the ‘bad guys’ out.  We can’t have people involved that have murdered or have cheated on their spouse, that are gay, that have too much body art or that we heard was at a wild party last week.  We’ve been trained that we have to keep our distance, we have to hold them away at arm’s length.

I read the Bible a lot.  I’ve never read in there where it talks about living in a bubble.  I’ve never read any verse about Jesus pondering whether or not he loved someone.  I’ve never read about someone having to wait to go and love on someone else and share hope.  I’ve read where people weren’t confident in the Love that is there for them, and they had to be mentored or helped along.  I’ve read plenty of examples that show that we need patience with one another, that we need to value each other.  I’ve read that we need to focus on what is lovely, kind, pure, praiseworthy……  I’ve read that hate crushes any work of Love.  I’ve read that fear stops the flow of Love.  Fear stunts maturity, understanding, patience and trust that Love has all the answers.  What is Love?  It’s True Light.  What is True Light?  It’s I Am.  Who is I Am?  The only One who hears us, answers us, helps us overcome so that we can help others.  The One who gives us the strength to make sure the hurt, lies, discrimination, fear, rejection and prejudice that was shown to us or that we witnessed, does not continue.

The church was never meant to be a corporation with ladders to climb, positions to be filled or names to be made.  It was meant to be a collaboration of friends, loving one another like family.  Having synergy; learning from one another.  Understanding that we do not own the keys to eternity, we only found where the gate is.  Understanding that each person has a free will and what ever each person decides, they still deserve just as much Love as ever.

It’s no wonder that so many have left or have negative feelings when you  ask them what comes to mind when you say the word “church”.

Oh This Love

Creator, weaving peace, encouragement, understanding into the fibers to be sewn into today’s fabric.

                     I’m in love with a Lover who knows me so well, He makes my head to rest and my heart to ease, I float on trust like a lily on water……

    He streams brown butterflies across my path.  

He encourages me, keep walking–  you don’t hold your head on your own.  you don’t support your own weight– I hear Him whisper to me.  

             I look around.  My arms are draped around His neck, my head rests hearing His heartbeat.  I smile and breathe Him in.  

                     We laugh together…  I am refreshed.  

I’ve searched, I’ve done a lot of reading, I’ve talked with a lot of different people.  I was trying to find something other than what I was fed in my youth.  Today, and yesterday and the day before that, I’m continually reminded and have new and fresh revelations of the Love that has found me.  This Love that has opened my eyes, opened my ears, refreshed my spirit.  I’m so thankful to be done searching.  I’ve found my home.  My searching now is swimming in the vastness that is this Love.  Continually learning, stretching my view, opening my heart.

Remembering You

Your gentleness was the first thing I noticed

Your smile sincere, warm

Never did I hear a word from your mouth that was negative, dark or harming

You were welcoming, inviting

While you never left any one out, you had a veil where the very close were let into

I’m privileged to have known you;  silly, sweet, caring, attentive, sensitive

Your cute rosy cheeks when you smiled, like apples

Your smile was contagious

You helped me in ways I never knew how to tell you

All these things and more that go through my mind, my heart

Parts of me wish I could have told you all of these things before you left

You leave a vast space in this world, all the Love you gave fills its place and keeps spreading

I miss you, your smile, your encouraging words, your grilled cheese sandwiches and  tomato soup

I look forward to seeing you again

I love you Rachel 


Watery Eyes, inspired by ancient, underwater trees….

I keep waiting

My head aims for the Light

I don’t feel like my arms can quite grasp

I’m on the tips of my toes…

I’m waiting for the Heat and Light I know is there to reach my heart

Wait, how long have I been here

What was it I was searching for…

Warmth, keep reaching for the warmth

Those of you who see me

You see more than I can

I don’t understand your picture

I have watery eyes

I rub them, I don’t remember why

I hear a call I think it sounds familiar

Ghostly, distant, but familiar

Oh roots, grow deeper

So I may grow taller

Stretch further, further down

So the water will run from my eyes

So I will remember why I reach

Embrace, I need to embrace

What was it that needs my arms around it

Warmth, again, go for the warmth

I hear that sound

A drum? Rain? No, a heart

The heat and the sound are the same

Somehow I think I’m too scared, angry,

I can’t tell, my eyes are watery

Oh roots, grow deeper…..

Letting go

How to move beyond this mind that gets in the way.    Do I circle around you, weave through, or truly push you to the back.        

I think we learn to be in harmony.   My spirit leads, following the gentle lead of Another, and you follow.      A flowing dance, learning balance.    

What an amazing Example I have, thank You Creator.

Closing My Physical Eyes

Feeling the air around me, taking it in.  Letting go, bringing back in.  Turquoise, blue, green filling my mind.  Doors, how many doors along a wall.  Too many to count.  Calendar pages flashing through.  A building with a big window.  The window takes up more than just one story.  There’s a bed for rest, a desk for work.  Amazing how rest can come, the lights are so bright.  Armful of roses, the smell is lovely, saturating.  Hand reaching out, amazing Love.  Warmth enveloping my senses, sharpening my understanding, increasing the flow of connection.  My face feeling the warmth like I’m in front of a comforting fire.

Father, where are our eyes?

What are we using to feel around with?  Fear?  Anger?  Impatience?  Love?  Thankfulness?  Are our senses dulled?  Is there something muting, warping the surface we think we’re feeling?  Are we searching around like we’re in the dark?  Afraid and thinking, “God, is this You, I hope this is You.”  Have we slowly built a box, a frame that we’re unaware of.  To say, “God, fit into this.  What ever falls outside of this frame, I don’t/won’t like it.  I won’t touch it.  Fit into here so I can feel happy.”  Do we want Truth to fit our ideals?  Do we want Light to shine only on the places we choose, especially the places we’re proud of?  Do we pray in public so we can look good, then go home and curse our friends behind closed doors?  We’re sure to tell others of Your laws and how they should be revered, then we go out and break the laws of our land, justifying each decision.  Do we shut Love out because it doesn’t fit our doctrine by saying, “Follow the law, then Love will come.”?  Are we so unaware of the lies, our man-made frame of thinking?  Were we born with our eyes closed?  Were we kept from seeing that Love is waiting?  Why is it that we can’t wait to go home and criticize others whose beliefs or ideas don’t fit into our ideas, our perfect plan that makes us think we have to earn Your Love?  Why do we blindly justify our back-biting with self righteousness?  Why do we say, “Who do they think they are?  Don’t they know they have to work and strive?  We’ve earned our place, we’ve almost earned Love, too.”?  “Ah, maybe don’t worry, they’ll be like us someday, understanding that they’ll be justified by ideas, by religious practice.”

I don’t want to misunderstand what it means to be set apart.  I don’t want to build up walls that I sit on and proudly/satisfyingly hold my chin up looking down on others thinking I’m better for what I’ve learned.  I don’t want to have that mentality or share in it.  I look in myself, I can’t find a place to connect with that.  Creator, help this ache.  I want to share in having eyes opened.  Using our mouths, our words, to lift and build up others.  To say, “I love you, I accept you, I honor you even if we see differently.”  I want us all to share in knowing Your voice.  We don’t have to be afraid.   To know that You get bigger every day.  I see more of You today than I thought was possible yesterday.  I don’t want to judge others.  I want us to be comfortable enough with ourselves, knowing Your Love for us, that we can be comfortable with letting others be themselves.  Knowing that You have a plan for each individual that we don’t have to control, just simply help and encourage them along their journey.  I want to see where You move, so I can follow, whether or not it fits my ideas or the ideal situation I’m comfortable with.  I want to trust You, knowing that I don’t have to control the outcome.  I am a spirit being having this human experience, I am just a person, seeking You out, trusting You.  Who am I with out You?  A lonely and hungry spirit, never finding rest, searching any thing I can, feeling afraid or trapped or helpless.  You fill me, expand my understanding, give me rest.  Only You are to be praised for any thing that is accomplished.  You are not just a god, or even just the biggest god.  You are the only One, I Am, communing with me.  How powerful You are.  Only You are omnipresent, omnipotent.  You make us the kings and queens that we are, that we hopefully learn to walk as, in a sense of servanthood and sharing.  I love You Abba.

Connections to the Earth

I’ve been thinking a lot on our connection to the Earth.

If we don’t fight against men- that it’s spiritual- shouldn’t we be looking for the spiritual root of things?

The ground was cursed, man would have to toil for his food.  Man has been trying to find easier ways to get food from the ground.  Easier ways and to have more food produced each harvest.  That, most believe has been causing allergies, bee populations to diminish and so forth.  So that’s not the answer.  What is the root?  If sin brought the curse, can the curse be broken?  In Romans 8:19-21, it is mentioned that the Earth groans for redemption, waiting for the sons and daughters of I Am.  Waiting to see who they really are.  If the Earth is groaning for redemption, can righteousness bring it out from the curse?  The ground cried out from the shed blood of Abel.  Is the ground still crying out today from the spilled blood of others?  The fact that the ground cries out lends much food for thought.

There have been and still are different groups of people over the years traveling around healing relationship with indigenous peoples and healing the land.  There are others who still ignore the importance of forgiveness and blessing with words.  We have been having a lot of shaking going on in the Earth.  There has been a call, sent out by various prophets/prophetess’ that the Earth is reflecting the spiritual realm.  There is a call to Love, a call to receiving Love and letting it overflow to others.  We need to ask what that means, how do we walk that out, how do we let it be who we are.  It’s not enough to know what it ‘looks’ like.  It’s not enough to perform.  It’s not enough to just talk about it.  We really need to make it who we are.  A friend Mark C. just spoke about something so important; ‘We were created in the image of our Creator, He wishes to express Himself through each of us, in the unique way we express only in the way we do as individuals.’  Do we really grasp that?  Do we understand the importance of appreciating another for what they have to offer?  Do we still look through/over them because their ‘theology’ doesn’t match ours?   Do we even acknowledge the thought that continually affects our minds that we are somehow better than another who we see as less educated on our beliefs?  There is no righteousness in treating other brothers and sisters in that way.  Regardless of belief or ideas, they are creation, they are loved by the Ancient of Days, treasured and cherished by the very One who gives Life.

Let’s answer the call of Love, answer the groaning.  Let’s hear the groaning in our own spirit as well.  There’s more to be said.  Another time.

Any one have any thoughts?

Songs and Hymns

Ephesians 5:19

‘Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs…’

We’re told to, but do we?  What sort of heart does it take to give words like a song to someone else, and even more, recieve them?

I was talking with a new friend who said to me, ‘You’re welcome bright light friend.’

What a beautiful greeting.  I was touched.  I love to speak to my friends encouragingly as well.  I know I can say more.  There are times when I see a friend and want to greet them in such a loving way using words to describe how I see them. But I get nervous; not every one knows how to accept a greeting filled with love.  People get bashful, uncomfortable.  I don’t want anyone to get uncomfy.  I think I might just start being more open and honest in my greetings any way.  We need to hear the positive truth about ourselves from the mouth of another.

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